Substance abuse prevention

Hear From the Expert Feature Article

Dear Expert,

Why Do Parents Need Wake Up Calls at Prom Time?

- A Parent

Dear Parent,

The kids, who come to school trashed, skip a lot, have bad behavior and attitude problems, are identified by Judges, parents, schools, and frequently get negative attention as well as consequences. These kids are labeled as "burn outs" and know they are always being watched. One such boy, a self-described burnout, jokingly talks about a drug dog, that could read his locker number. He talks about the dog walking down the hall, taking a left, going three lockers up and stopping at his. He figures the dog knows his numbers better than any first grader. He tries to tell the dog's handler that he may just want the meat in his roast beef sandwich sitting in his locker - but they don't want to listen. He tells them he lost his key - they don't listen. He tells them the weed they may find is not his - they don't listen. He tells them not to call his parents - they don't listen. He tells them that they can even take a drug test - they don't listen. Burned out kids are getting hands on prevention every day - They are lucky!

The kids who are going to school, holding down jobs and have friends who their parents like are at the highest risk to be in accidents due to drinking. Too many people judge them by their good covers and feel confident that these kids are not putting themselves in danger. Nothing could be further from the truth. For their parents "not my kid", is a prevailing thought which is short-sighted and dangerous. These "good" kids are not getting the kinds of preventative messages they need because, these good kids parents don't know what is going on. They often talk of being blessed and thankful that their child is alright. Kids often talk about how naïve adults are especially their own parents.

These adolescents are seen as the "ideal" kid who can put together a college essay that could knock your socks off. Everything they do is above and beyond - these dream kids are on the honor roll, great at sports and have tons of friends. They are considered popular and are role model material. Many parents want their kids to be like these "rock star" heroes. Despite their positive attributes, they too are exposed to alcohol and marijuana and all of the same dangerous consequences that befall the "burnout kids". Use may not be on a daily basis so they are far less likely to get caught. Prom time for them is drinking time and this activity is part of most kid's celebration - burnout or straight edge.

One of these incredible kids came to outpatient treatment for abuse of alcohol and laughingly refers to a terrible drinking episode as being taken "suddenly drunk". Had he not been arrested, his parents would never have had a clue. For a long time he and his friends hid the drinking well. It goes on right under the parent's noses. He and his friends consume lots of alcohol, ditch the bottles and are always ready with an answer when an unsuspecting parent calls down to the rec room asking if everything is all right - Yep, they answer, with conspirational grins as they knock back the Captain Morgan (rum). Their weekend sport, like too many kids is getting trashed. This particular kid got caught because he changed the usual pattern by leaving his friend's house, he got arrested for a DUI. He reports consuming at least fifteen drinks - yes, fifteen!! He is very lucky indeed! An unintended benefit was that a lot of parents wised up; saw the light and began to supervise their kids more closely. They were totally shocked that this superstar took such a dangerous chance. By the way, superstar's parents took decisive action and did not let the deed go unpunished. They thankfully did not think "Not my kid".

Parents Wake Up: Picture Prom Time-the crash sight, the flowers, the candles, the crying kids. It could be any kid; those labeled good or bad. Remember, clean cut and preppie is only skin deep - the trees and telephone poles are in the path of all kids who drink.

For any questions or comments, please call the expert (Susan D. Wallace, Executive Director, CaritasRI, (401) 722-4644 Ext. 301, visit CaritasRI.org, or email Susan) and mention the Hear From the Expert article at Be In The Know RI.

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