Substance abuse prevention

Hear From the Expert Feature Article

Dear Expert,

I recently overheard the statement "Prom time, prom time, lets all get bombed time!" What can I do as a parent to keep my child safe at prom time?

- A Parent

Dear Parent,

"Prom time, prom time, let's all go get bombed time" - It's a quote uttered by a young man within earshot of someone he sees as "an uptight adult". Instead of evoking thoughts of flowers, gowns and tuxes, prom time for many is an occasion that often ends in disaster. The time of year calls for one big celebration, marking graduations, end of school, picnics, cookouts, parties and proms. For too many kids it is a time of drinking, taking chances and horrible accidents. Adults must gear up with all the strength they have to keep kids safe and work tirelessly to support all the other safety precautions put in place by schools and towns. Safety messages often fall on deaf ears as some kids are already preparing a rather well thought out counter-insurgency looking for a way around the rules. They are already snickering behind their cupped hands as they plan their version of "prom night". At this time, schools set up events to try and keep kids safe; they are worthwhile when adults understand that kids who want to drink are the masters of deception and already have combat ready plans in place. One youngster recently suggested that if they could perhaps drink in the locked gym, more kids would probably attend. When did prom time become a booze fest instead of a night of dreamy dancing under the stars? It went the way of the wrist corsage and crinolines. Today, kids have added an activity to all celebrations called "drinking". Proms are just another example of how drinking is so prevalent and widely accepted by kids and adults alike.

Not many kids are going to mention the rum, the beer, the pot and the prom plots to their parents. Parents need to understand that graduation events, much like New Year's Eve events are about recklessness and a dangerous time to be on the road. The best way to keep kids safe is helping parents understand the risks. At this point, adults can't change a whole school, a whole prom or a whole class, but they can have an impact on their own child - and maybe some of his friends.

Prior to the events, parents need to have regular sit-downs and discussions so there is no confusion and no excuse for breaking the rules - expectations should be clear. Certain parents have perhaps noticed their kids developing this thing called "senioritis" which is seen as a ticket to drink, break curfew and remind parents that they are going off to college and "You won't know what I'm doing". Many kids get caught up in the celebratory spirit and just may let their hair down. The kids who usually don't drink or take risks may surprise you - so don't forget to challenge them too! Parents are easily conned because they want to keep thinking that their kids are responsible and mature. Prom time is known for knocking maturity and responsibility out the window as "crazies" hit and caution is thrown to the wind.

Parents, make sure that the limousine driver knows the rules like - no booze. Ask him to stay alert, looking in the rear view mirror and checking for the familiar smell of alcohol. Perhaps you could go to the prom site to make sure that your prince or princess is there, even if you have to put on a disguise so you won't embarrass them. And when they comment about the "wack job" dressed as Big Bird", they'll never know it's you! Also, periodically, check to see that he is still at the dance. Find out where the after prom parties are; do a stake out if necessary. Check all the doors and monitor them - sounds crazy! So what, it's better than the alternative.

Some of you probably think that this advice is silly. Silly or not it's a lot better than burying your child. Be there, like a cat on a mouse and don't let it out of your teeth until your child arrives home safely after each event.

For any questions or comments, please call the expert (Susan D. Wallace, Executive Director, CaritasRI, (401) 722-4644 Ext. 301, visit CaritasRI.org, or email Susan) and mention the Hear From the Expert article at Be In The Know RI.

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