Substance abuse prevention

Hear From the Expert Feature Article

Dear Expert,

Why Do You Need to Check Your Child in Every Night?

- A Parent

Dear Parent,

Today's parents often have no idea about what their kids are up to. They also don't know the extent of substance abuse in their home, town or school. We've decided to let you take a seat and get into their lives. Pay attention - she could be anyone's daughter.

"Oh my God - I'm heaving and getting sick everywhere - I gotta get up - can't get my head off the pillow - I'm gonna try to sit up - nope - I'm spinning - Oh my God - sick again! My mom calls up to me - 'get going' she yells, 'you're going to be late."

The door slams, I hear her car drive off, I'm so glad she didn't come up. I don't think she knew what time I came in - safe again - I can't go to school - I don't want to face anyone - I don't remember a lot - how did I even get home - I pray that nobody remembers anything - the party got out of control - there were fights - some kid I didn't know called me a drunk - he told me to smarten up.

I can't sleep - every time I try to sleep I can't -my whole body is shaking - sick again - I try to walk without moving my head - it throbs - I can't take aspirin because I'll throw up again. Finally I drift off.

I wake up because the phone is ringing - it's about 10:00 - it's my best friend calling on her cell - she's at school - I was with her at the party last night. "Boy you must be really messed up," she says, "you never miss school." She goes on to tell me how funny she thought I was - she tells me that the last thing she remembers me doing before she leaves the party is hitting on some guy. She tells me that my friends were "psyched" because they think my shyness is wearing off.

She tells me that she just broke in another party girl - I guess that's me - she asks me if I got caught - not yet I tell her -She tells me that there's going to be another party next Friday and that I'm invited.

I call my mom and tell her how sick I am - she buys it - I can tell by her voice that she is not upset or angry - she tells me that a "bug" is going around and that she'll bring me some soup. Boy did I luck out. I sleep off and on all day - I finally feel better after dinner - I mean physically. I try to do my homework and block last night out of my head. It keeps coming back and I keep telling myself that it's alright - I'm not too convinced but I keep repeating it anyway.

The next day my friends tell me that there is a rumor going around about me. I get eye-rolling looks and nobody tells me about what happened. I think everyone is looking at me - I just wanna hide - I wonder who is talking about me. My heart sinks - I can't breathe - I knew it! Someone remembered. I tell my friends that it's not true - I know it is because bits and pieces are coming back.

I tell myself to slow down and that its not the end of the world but I have never felt so bad. I feel like I'm going to faint - I'm getting hysterical - I try to concentrate on breathing slowly. I'll go to the party on Friday so that everyone can see that I'm not that way. I'll stay straight even though I would like to get drunk - or maybe just a few drinks - everyone will forget - God, I hope so!

This goes on all the time in Rhode Island and everywhere else. Her "best friend" will not be there for her - this event can be a disaster or an important life lesson - but only if she confides in her mom. Prevention of substance abuse depends solely on the home the kids return to.

For any questions or comments, please call the expert (Susan D. Wallace, Executive Director, CaritasRI, (401) 722-4644 Ext. 301, visit CaritasRI.org, or email Susan) and mention the Hear From the Expert article at Be In The Know RI.

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