Substance abuse prevention

Hear From the Expert Feature Article

Dear Expert,

Parents - Why Are You So Clueless About Your Kids and Alcohol and Drugs?

- A Parent

Dear Parent,

A quote from Goethe "There is nothing more frightening than ignorance in action". Parents - are you sure you are not being conned by your adolescents? Working with substance abusing kids gives me a clearer picture into their deceptions and I would guess that many of you are clueless about your kids drug use. As a matter of fact, I bet you are clueless about how your substance-involved kids spend 90% of their time. Their activities are clandestine and designed to keep you in the dark. Weren't you as amazed as I was to find out that the Columbine High School murder suicide perpetrators managed to have assault weapons, incendiary devices, miles of video tape, masks and their parents were unaware of any of it. These kids were willing to kill anyone in sight and themselves and the parents had no clue. Did they see their rage, sadness, and fear - did they have any idea of the inner workings of their kids' minds? Did you know that they were into everything about death and violence? This is a bad time for many kids because the powerful family connection is not present as parents are too busy and their kids get pushed to the back burner.

Did you know that along with substance use your kids are having unprotected sex? One young girl was brutally raped and thrown out of a car naked; her parents didn't know. One girl is being hit daily by her boyfriend but is afraid to get away from her tormenter because she thinks that her parents knowing will make it worse. Did you know that your son and his friends drink and drive and go on "blunt" cruises (marijuana use while riding in a car)? Did you know that your 15-year-old is going to Providence at least twice a week accompanied by two older males who put her out on the street to buy drugs for them? Did you know that your daughter gets high and shoplifts a lot? Did you know that your daughter has a reputation for being "easy" sexually? Do you know that your son and his friends leave school and come to your house to smoke and drink while you are working? Do you know how they cover it up? Did you know that your son is not at a sleep over or a movie or a school event but a party where there is alcohol and the clueless parents are in a blissful sleep so when you ask if parents are home they don't lie? Did you know that your son or daughter quit a sport out of fear of drug testing? Did you know that your kids are hiding things from you that are so troubling that they may be prime candidates for an attempt at suicide and perhaps a completion? Did you know that your straight A student is beginning to fail because of drug use? Did you know that your daughter had sex with two boys while she was drunk and is in deep remorse that is not shared with you? Did you know that your 12-year-old son has just smoked his first joint? Did you know that your daughter has a phony ID so she can get into clubs pretending to be 21. Do you know what time she came home or if she even came home? Do you know that your adolescents are rarely home and if so, where are they? Who are your kids riding with? Do you know that drug using kids will never tell you where they are going? Do you know why your kids need substances? Do you know that siblings keep secrets for their drug involved brothers and sisters? Do you know that your son is constantly being teased about being gay? Did you know that what you don't know would definitely hurt you? Did you know that your teens hang out exclusively with kids who do drugs? Did you know that your child has broken into a home in your neighborhood? Did you know that an uncle has molested your daughter?

Bring your kids back into the family - you need to be re-introduced - family is everything.

For any questions or comments, please call the expert (Susan D. Wallace, Executive Director, CaritasRI, (401) 722-4644 Ext. 301, visit CaritasRI.org, or email Susan) and mention the Hear From the Expert article at Be In The Know RI.

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