Substance abuse prevention

Monitoring Tips That Work for Substance Abuse

1. ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS: Who, What, When and Where

• Know where your teen is when he or she is away from home – Have your kids check in with you regularly.
• Make a list of his/her activities – put it on the fridge, on a calendar, or in your wallet or pocketbook.
• Walk through your neighborhood– note where kids your child’s age hang out.
• Know your teen’s friends – Make a point of meeting your teen’s friends AND their parents.
• Work with other parents - Try to get a list of everyone’s address, e-mails, and phone numbers so you can keep in touch with your teen.
• Show up a little early to pick up your teen – Observe his/her behavior.
• See that your teen is where he/she says he/she is going to be – Occasionally check to see that they are there.
• Make sure your kids are doing something positive right after school with an adult around – Many teens get into trouble with drugs right after school – from 3pm to 6pm. If you can’t be home with them make sure they are doing homework or chores and not hanging out with friends. Get them involved with something positive with adults around: Sports, jobs, clubs, after-school programs or religious youth groups.

2. BE MORE INVOLVED – The more involved you are in your children’s lives, the more valued they’ll feel, and the more likely they’ll be to respond to you.

• Establish together time– Establish a regular weekly routine for doing special with your teen even if it’s just going out for ice cream. A few minutes of conversation while cleaning up after dinner or right before bedtime can help establish the open communication that is essential.
• Have family meetings – Hold regularly at a mutually agreed upon time. You can discuss triumphs, grievances, projects, questions about discipline, or any topic of concern. Ground rules help. Everyone listens and only positive, constructive feedback is allowed.
• Don’t be afraid to ask where your kids are going, who they’ll be with and what they’ll be doing – Be familiar with their activities.
• Try to be there after school – The danger zone is between 3 and 6pm. Make sure there is adult supervision, not just an older sibling.
• Eat meals together as often as you can – It’s a great opportunity to talk about the day’s events and bond. Studies show that kids whose families eat together at least 5 times a week are less likely to be involved with drugs or alcohol.

3. BE PREPARED AND KNOW THE FACTS – Teens who learn anti-drug messages at home are 42% less likely to use drugs.

• Parents are the first line of defense and you do make a difference– Nearly two-thirds of teenagers see great risk of upsetting their parents or losing the respect of family and friends if they smoke marijuana or use other drugs.
• Know the risks of illicit drugs and the signs to watch for– Know how marijuana interferes with concentrating on schoolwork and their ability to play sports – Make sure they understand the legal trouble and health consequences that they may encounter.
• The most common drug-related question asked of parents is: Did you ever do drugs?– Unless the answer is no, it’s difficult to know what to say because nearly all parents who used drugs don’t want their children to do the same thing. Today we have more information and we understand the hazards of drug use better than we did when we were their ages and thought we were invincible. We can now draw on credible real-life examples of friends who had trouble as a result of their drug use: the neighbor who caused a fatal car crash while high; the family member who got addicted; the teen who used marijuana for years, lost interest in school, and never really learned how to deal with adult life and stresses. Regardless of your own drug history, it’s your responsibility to set limits and tell them, “In this family drug use is not acceptable.” Remember, the issue isn’t your past; it’s your children’s future!

4. MAKE YOUR POSITION CLEAR – Don’t assume that your children know where you stand.

• State your position clearlyState your position clearly – If you’re ambiguous, they may be tempted to become involved with tobacco products, alcohol, or other drugs.
• Tell them that you forbid them to use alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs because you love them – Make it clear that this rule holds true even at other people’s houses.
• When a child decides whether or not to use alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs, a crucial consideration is: What will my parents think?

5. MAKE CLEAR RULES – Research shows that young people are less likely to use tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs if their parents set clear rules about not doing so.

• Set clear rules and discuss in advance the consequences of breaking them – Don’t make empty threats or let the rule-breaker off the hook. Don’t impose harsh or unexpected new punishments.
• The rules must be consistently enforced – Every time the rule is broken, the parent should enforce a punishment.
• Punishments should involve mild, not severe, negative consequences – Overly severe punishments serve to undermine the quality of the parent-child relationship.
• Set a curfew – Enforce it strictly, but be prepared to negotiate for special occasions
• Have kids check in at regular times when away from home or school – Give them a phone card or change with clear rules for using it.
• Call parents whose home is to be used for a party – On party night, don’t be afraid to stop in and say hello (and make sure that adult supervision is in place).
• Make it easy to leave a party where drugs are being used – Discuss in advance how to signal you or another designated adult who will come to pick your child up the moment he or she feels uncomfortable. Later, be prepared to talk about what happened.
• Listen to your instincts – Don’t be afraid to intervene if your gut reaction tells you that something is wrong.

6. PRAISE POSITIVE BEHAVIOR – The right word at the right time can strengthen the bond that helps keep your child away from drugs. Emphasize the things your kid does right and restrain the urge to be critical. Expressions of love, appreciation and thanks go a long way!

7. TALK TO THEM!! – The most effective deterrent to drug use isn’t the police, or prisons, or politicians – it’s you! Kids who learn about the risks of drug used from their parents are 36% less likely to smoke marijuana than kids who learn nothing from them. If you talk to your kids about the dangers of drug use, they are also 50% less likely to use inhalants, and 56% less likely to use LSD – just because you took the time to talk to them. Research has also shown that kids want to hear what their parents have to say – in fact, 74% of fourth graders wish their parents would talk to them about drugs.

8. SHOW LOVE – The best way you can help your kids avoid destructive behavior is to spend time with them, talking to them about their friends, school activities, and asking them what they think. Research shows that knowing your kids, who they hang out with – and their parents – dramatically reduces the likelihood that they will get into trouble with tobacco, alcohol, and drugs. Go out for a pizza. Go skating or biking. Go to a movie. Listen to music together. Most importantly, tell your kids you love them!

9. BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL – Be a role model of the person you want your kid to be.

• Be a living, day-to-day example of your value system – Show the compassion, honesty, generosity and openness you want your child to have.
• Know that there is no such thing as “do as I say, not as I do” when it comes to drugs – If you take drugs, you can’t expect your child to take your advice. Seek professional help if necessary.
• Examine your own behavior– If you abuse drugs or alcohol, your kids are going to pick up on it. Or if you laugh at a drunk or stoned person in a movie, you may be sending the wrong message to your child. Be the person you want your kid to be. What stronger anti-drug message is there?!